


Shower: Interrupted.

by DryCereal



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Flash Fic, Ha!, Hotels, Humour, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Mildly annoyed!Dan, Potty-mouth!Dan, Smut adjacent, first time for everything:the fic, look at me sticking to the word limit, wanking!Phil, well - it made me giggle anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 13:56:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14770887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DryCereal/pseuds/DryCereal
Summary: Phil's hogging the hotel room en-suite, Dan really isn't happy about it.Me? I've been corrupted.





	Shower: Interrupted.

**_**Rattling doorknob*_** _*_  
  
_****Knock****_  
  
_****PAUSE****_  
  
_****KNOCK KNOCK****_  
  
“Phil, for God’s sake OPEN THE DOOR!”  
  
“Phil, come ON!”  
  
“I swear on your Mum’s life, if you don’t open the door I will piss in your suitcase. _I will_.”  
  
_****FRANTIC HAMMERING ON THE DOOR****_  
  
“PHIL, FOR FUCK’S SAKE LET ME IN! OR HURRY UP!!!”  
  
“Dan… I… I’ll just be a couple more minutes.”  
  
“I don’t CARE Phil, just let me in.”  
  
“I’m… I’m busy. I won’t… I won’t be long”  
  
“Phil, what even… What the hell?!”  
  
“Dan… please… Just…”  
  
“Phil… Are you..? You _are_ , aren't you..? You horny bastard. You could at least let me join!”  
  
_****Hushed keening sound****_  
  
“Or let me help.”  
  
_****Moaning, followed by panting****_  
  
“Kinky fucker. You’d like me to help, wouldn’t you?”  
  
“Dan, _please_ …”  
  
“Ooh, begging now are we? Tough shit Lester. ”  
  
_****Gasp****_ “ _Dan!_ ”  
  
“ _Nope_. You’re on your own, buddy. I’ve got things to do, a whole list… Want to hear? I badly need a piss, _still_. Then I need to brush my teeth, have an actual shower, instead of an excuse to rub one out sneakily- ”  
  
“Dan… just… just…”  
  
“Close, are you? Good. You do know we’re meant to be meeting the others for breakfast in fifteen minutes? If we’re late, I WILL tell them exactly why we - by which I mean YOU - kept them waiting…”  
  
“Mmmmnnn… Dan… I… Oh! DAN!”  
  
_****Dull thud****_  
  
_****Silence****_  
  
“Phil, I’m hoping the silence means you’ve finished, **and** that you haven’t slipped and died, since you managed to turn the water off…”  
  
_****Door opens****_  
  
“Oh, thank fu- “  
  
“Mmmmwah! Good morning love. Best be quick, we’re meeting the others soon”  
  
_****Silence****_  
  
“Dan, aren’t you going to use the bathroom?”  
  
“Don’t be cute. You know I am.”  
  
_****Door shuts****_  
  
_****Door slams open****_  
  
“PHIL, YOU NASTY FUCKING TWAT!!! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST RINSED THE SHOWER DOWN AFTER YOU FINISHED!!!!! I SWEAR TO GOD I DON’T KNOW WHY I PUT UP – “  
  
_****Loud laughter****_  
  
_****Door slams, yelling continues****_

**Author's Note:**

> I blame dizzy for this entirely.
> 
> First time writing anything remotely smutty, first time writing something dialogue only. Thank god it's short, at least if you hated it it was over quickly (unlike Phil's personal time in the shower. Heh.)
> 
> I'm on on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/DryCerealThief) or [Tumblr](https://drycerealthief.tumblr.com) \- donations of brain bleach will be gratefully accepted.
> 
> OH GOD WHAT DID I DO?!


End file.
